Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Lifelong Battle

I have been overweight my entire life. Even as a child, when I was a healthy weight, I was still bigger than all the other kids in my class. As the cycles of my life fluctuate, so does my weight. I've tried every diet out there and have had no luck. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad... when I'm happy... when I'm bored... when I'm celebrating. Pretty much, my jaws never stop moving.

Last year I decided to look into bariatric surgery as an option to help me lose the weight. However, as a "hard-working" (I use that term very loosely) government employee, I had some pretty crappy benefits. So crappy, in fact, that I had to wait until open enrollment to change my insurance coverage to a plan that will cover the surgery. #painintheass

In February of 2010, I began the eligibility process to get approved for surgery. My insurance company (CIGNA) made me jump through fire-lit hoops before approving me. After six months of monthly support group meetings, six weigh-ins with my PCP, a host of torturous lab tests, and completely cleaning out my Health Reimbursement Account, I was approved! My surgery is scheduled for 12:00 noon on Friday, December 3, 2010, and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

I have been very private about this entire process, because there was a time when I wasn't sure I was going to be able to complete it. Also, people are judgmental, and I didn't want to be judged for taking such a drastic measure to lose weight. Through the monthly support groups, I have learned that not everyone will be excited and supportive of you during this process. Up to this point, I have only told my family and a few close friends. But now, I'm taking it worldwide... okay, maybe not worldwide, but this blog is a start.

Technically this is the third blog I've created. The first two where spur of the moment ideas that never really took off, and like with most things, I became very bored with them quicker than it took to create them. This one is different. This is a part of my every day life for the rest of my life. I can't forget about it or get bored with it because I'm living it.

I promise to be as real and emotionally raw as an OCD control freak can be. I want to share this with people out there who struggle every day with their weight. I want them to know that if I can do it, so can they. I hope to inspire a least one person. But most importantly, I want to live a long and healthy life. This is really corny, but I feel like Friday is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m glad you’ll be along for the journey… whoever you are.

Operation Skinny Biatch is in full effect! #lehgo


  1. My prayers and support are with you! Thanks for sharing this with us. :-) CLD

  2. I believe you can get healthy and lose weight! In fact, I KNOW YOU WILL. I'm glad you've taken these steps (lap band procedure, blogging) to give your self some support in the weight loss process. I've always worried about my young bestie suffering due to obesity-related health issues. And I will repeat the mantra I've been saying to you since high school: Weight loss=less calories+rigorous exercise. It's a simple formula, but hard too sustain.

    (Putting on my psychologist hat:) Now that you've acknowledged that you're an emotional eater, I urge you to explore the deep-seated feelings that started in childhood that made food your comfort source. Seeing how you could not sustain your attempts at exercising and changing your eating habits in the past, I'm convinced that you will lose weight when you change your attitude toward food and self. Bottomline, if you want something to change, you can't keep doing the same thing. To see a change in your body, you must change your thoughts. I recommend therapy, if your insurance covers it. For what you said, those monthly support group meetings weren't especially useful. Having an individual focus on you and help you develop self-awareness may be the change you need to change your body. Love you! Si se puede!

  3. Hey Kathy I am here for you and will support you anyway I can. May God also be with you through this process. Love you and I am proud of you!!:)


  4. Thank you all for your prayers, love, and support!

    @Dr. H: We will have a couch session when you come home this Christmas! :o)

  5. Well Kat, this has been a long time coming. I've been able to witness your struggles with weight loss for the last 13 years. I desire a healthy and long life for you and like you I feel like Friday will be the first day of the rest of your life. Its imperative that YOU realize that this is a lifelong sacrifice that YOU made. While I support you, I will hold you accountable like a bff should. I want the best for you and I look forward to a success blog entry in the future. #getityouskinnybiatch

  6. Kitty! 12/3/10 BIG DAY!! I am so happy for you. This will definitely mark the beginning of the rest of your life. I am in total agreement with Dr. H; it is truly time to focus on the lifestyle change and get to the core of what has caused you to struggle with this issue most of your life and more importantly; FACE THOSE ISSUES. As MJK said, we will definitely hold you accountable on this journey. It will be challenging and on occasion you may get discouraged. The important thing to remember is that you have decided to live your best life TODAY and the investment in yourself is worth more than any minor setback. #SeeItThru
    I want to encourage you to reach deep down and embrace your TRUE confidence and self-love beyond the outter shell. It will be in this place that you find the strength to endure and succeed! Luvya!
    Check out this blog...she has traveled a similar journey! My friend shared it with me today & it has inspired me in more ways than one :o) -ENJOY